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Click: The Magic of Instant Connections
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Click: The Magic of Instant Connections

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You know the feeling. You meet someone new—at a party or at work—and you just hit it off. There is an instant sense of camaraderie.
 
In a word, you “click.”
 
From the bestselling authors of Sway, Click is a fascinating psychological investigation of the forces behind what makes us click with certain people, or become fully immersed in whatever activity or situation we’re involved in.  
 
From two co-workers who fall head over heels for each other while out to dinner and are married a month later (and fifteen years later remain just as in love), to a team of scientists who changed the world with the magic of their invention, these kinds of peak experiences, when our senses are completely focused on the moment, are something that individuals—and companies—strive to achieve. After all, when you’re in the “zone,” you’re happier and more productive. Why is it that we click in certain situations and with certain people, but not with others? Can this kind of magical connection be consciously encouraged?  Is there a way to create such peak experiences, whether on a date or in your job? 
 
According to Ori and Rom Brafman, there is. 
 
In a powerful, story-driven narrative that weaves together cutting-edge research in psychology and sociology, the Brafmans explore what it means to “click”: the common factors present when our brain and senses are fully engaged. They identify five “accelerators” that increase the likelihood of these kinds of magic connections in our work and relationships.
  
From actors vying for a role on a popular TV series to police officers negotiating with hostage takers, we learn how one can foster an environment where we can click with another person and shape our thinking, behavior, and emotions.
 
A fascinating journey into how we engage with the world around us, Click will transform our thinking about those moments when we are in the zone and everything seems to fall into place.
 
Acclaim for Sway:

“A provocative new book about the psychological forces that lead us to disregard facts or logic and behave in surprisingly irrational ways.” –New York Times
 
“A unique and compulsively readable look at unseen behavioral trends.” –Fortune

"A breathtaking book that will challenge your every thought, Sway hovers above the intersection of Blink and Freakonomics."--Tom Rath, coauthor of the New York Times #1 bestseller How Full Is Your Bucket?

“[An] engaging journey through the workings—and failings—of the mind…Their stories of senselessness…are as fascinating as the lessons we learn from them.” –Fast Company

"Count me swayed--but in this instance by the pull of entirely rational forces. Ori and Rom Brafman have done a terrific job of illuminating deep-seated tendencies that skew our behavior in ways that can range from silly to deadly. We'd be fools not to learn what they have to teach us."--Robert B. Cialdini, author of New York Times bestseller Influence

"If you think you know how you think, you'd better think again! Take this insightful, delightful trip to the sweet spot where economics, psychology, and sociology converge, and you'll discover how our all-too-human minds actually work."--Alan M. Webber, founding editor of Fast Company

Product Details:
Author: Ori Brafman
Hardcover: 224 pages
Publisher: Crown Business
Publication Date: June 08, 2010
Language: English
ISBN: 0385529058
Product Length: 0.89 inches
Product Width: 5.98 inches
Product Height: 8.5 inches
Product Weight: 0.8 pounds
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Package Width: 5.8 inches
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Package Weight: 0.8 pounds
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35 of 38 found the following review helpful:

3The Authors of "Sway" Explore the Hidden Factors Behind "Clicking"  May 25, 2010
By Kevin Currie-Knight
The Brafman brothers are back. In their previous bestseller Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior, these two (one a psychologist, the other a business consultant) looked at the hidden mental factors that sometimes get in the way of wholly rational decision making. In Click, they turn their attention to the hidden components behind human connections. What are the ingredients that increase likelihood of enduring and trusting connections? Why do some instances lead to 'clicking' and others do not?

The Brofmans' survey of the literature has yielded several factors that lend themselves to making personal connections (what they call "click accelerators": vulnerability, proximity, flow, similarity, environment, engagement, and (of course) a little magic. Each chapter is structured around one of these factors, explaining in lay terms the data around how each works to enhance the likelihood of personal connection.

To take two of these, let's look briefly at "proximity" and "environment." For the former, the authors detail several studies (one involving police cadets in Maryland, another college students) demonstrating that we are often closest to those who sit, live, or work physically close to us REGARDLESS OF COMMONALITY. In other words, when asked to list the cadets they are closest to, the police cadets consistently chose those who sat and worked near them, and this factor was a more powerful predictor than any other.

Now for "environment." Here, the authors' message is that one's surroundings play a crucial role in deciding whether the people in them will form relationships. Particularly of interest is that, as studies with war veterans have shown, the more traumatic and stressful the environment, the more likely the people in it are to become close. (My thoughts are that this goes nicely with the chapter on vulnerability, because those in stressful environments tend to depend on each other more, and hence show each other their vulnerabilities. That may well make their bond stronger).

All in all, I liked this book. I didn't find anything spectacular in it but I will chalk that as much up to personal interest as to the book's quality (I am mildly, but not excitedly, interested in its topic). There is not too terribly much surprising or counter-intuitive information in the book, but what it does do well is take something familiar (the feeling of clicking with others) and analyzes it in a way few of us really do. It will not be very useful to those (business folk, maybe) who want to learn how to improve interpersonal skills, as it offers little by way of concrete advice. For the rest of us, who are just interested in the psychology behind 'clicking,' the book is a good, interesting, and fairly quick read.

20 of 22 found the following review helpful:

5Bet you'll use at least one thing you learn from it.  Jun 07, 2010
By J. Lee "imajeel"
Why do we sometimes just instantly "click" with people? The Brafman brothers have come up with a "recipe" they believe answers this question. And, they've written a well-organized, engaging and easy-to-read book which combines the results of interesting social psychology research with anecdotal stories to get it across.

Each ingredient of the recipe for making more immediate and deeper connections - which include making oneself vulnerable, proximity/touching, resonance, finding similarities, and environmental factors (like working together to overcome an adversary) - get their own chapter. The least useful or interesting of these for me was the chapter on Resonance, which seemingly just means being present and in the mentality that you want to connect.

But, the rest of it was incredibly fascinating to me. I particularly enjoyed the social psychology experiments they discuss - like pairing people up to work on a project and having half of their work partners casually touch them during the work, and the other half not to determine the importance of touch, or seeing if a person would donate more to someone if they shared the same birthday. As worthwhile are the great stories they interlace that demonstrate the powerful results that people can accomplish when they "click".

Bottom Line: Whether you want to improve professional or personal relationships, or just enjoy exploring human dynamics - you'll enjoy this book. And, unless you're already doing them all, I'll bet you find yourself at least trying out a couple of the things they mention.

27 of 32 found the following review helpful:

2The Book Didn't Entirely Click For Me.  Jun 04, 2010
By Michelle R
I selected Click because I generally like this type of book; however, there just didn't seem to be enough substance. Click is not a long book, by any means, but the information contained didn't even justify that length. If you sat people down and asked why people click, most fairly astute people could give you a fair summary of the findings of the authors. If the person has paid attention to similar topics in the past, he or she could do even better. People with things in common, who are similar, who spend time around one another, who go through traumas together, tend to click.

Okay.

I did find one of the first parts of the book to be interesting, when it was discussed how allowing yourself to be vulnerable aids connection with others. It's of course logical but I'd given it little thought in the past -- how when you trust someone with your feelings, a bond is forged, and how taking that leap of faith is a simple way to connect.

In the end though I really didn't feel that there was enough to this book to maintain interest and that it needed to be expanded. Books like this should make the reader understand more and see the world and their interactions with it in a new light, and I really don't think that happened here. It'd be interesting enough to check out of the library or buy at a greatly reduced price, but I feel underwhelmed when I take the lack of overall substance into account.

7 of 8 found the following review helpful:

4Really thought-provoking and thankfully not what I expected.  May 29, 2010
By Cas
What makes us, as individuals, connect instantly to some people? Why do we regard clicking as utterly random when it, like most psychological things, isn't really all that random? Why isn't something this important to us as a culture explored more by researchers?

Those are all really good questions, and weirdly, most of them haven't really been asked before in popular literature. This book actually does ask those questions -- and then follows up by asking the very logical next question: If clicking isn't all that random, how can someone learn to make it easier to happen?

This isn't really a "relationship" book in the sense of romantic love, though it touches on it here and there. What it really is is a study of one of the most important things that can possibly happen to a person: the experience of making an intense and almost instant connection with another. In that sense, "clicking" can happen in business and platonic as well as romantic settings, and it is in those other senses that the book spends most of its time. By extending that feeling of instant mutual connection from romance to business, it slowly leads readers to realize that those non-romantic connections can be just as beneficial to our mental health and happiness.

The psychological studies it mentions are intriguing and delightful to read; I hadn't realized just how little research there is in this field, but what little there is is eye-opening. The authors have carefully identified five different precursors to the experience of "clicking," with the implication that duplicating these five precursors will make clicking far more likely, sort of like how putting the right oils and proteins in a flask and running lightning through it will make the rise of artificial life more likely. "Clicking" is very much a "lightning-in-a-bottle" experience now, but hopefully continuing research will make its occurrence a little better-understood.

Business owners and managers will be quite interested in this little book -- though hardly the whole enchilada, it makes some excellent points with regard to molding and shaping group dynamics. I could actually identify with this part very well; I've been part of businesses that didn't seem to care about how healthy the group was, and part of one now that really does care and which (unwittingly?) practices most of the precepts in this book.

The last part, about how people who click easily tend to mirror others and self-monitor their own behavior, seemed a little out of place in the book; I'd have wanted it either not there at all or expanded vastly. It was fascinating, don't get me wrong, but the book was sparse on how someone can learn to be self-monitoring and I suspect that this part of the research is much spottier.

Overall, though, a great book for anybody to read, especially those who are interested in making connections or helping their employees build an effective group.

7 of 9 found the following review helpful:

1I Didn't Click With This Book  Aug 31, 2010
By Soccerfan
I have to admit that I didn't finish this book. I got half way through and didn't find it the least bit interesting. I thought the book lacked a tight focus and had few, if any real tangible insights into why people click. The book was mostly filled with totally unrelated anecdotes under the broad guise of "clicking". One anecdote would get written about, then the authors would jump to a second anecdote, then a third, then back to the first, then back to the second, etc. The flow of the book seemed to jump all over the place without any structure.

One of the opening examples of clicking in the book was about two people who decided to get married after knowing each other for three days. Personally, it takes me longer than that to decide on a new pair of shoes, so I just really couldn't relate to the wisdom in marrying someone you hardly knew. There is a really funny Ben Stiller movie on just that topic called The Heartbreak Kid. In the movie, Ben Stiller marries a girl he thinks is "the one" after only knowing her a short while, and on his honeymoon he finds out she is unemployed, in debt and a drug user. So as I'm reading the Click book, I'm thinking about this movie, and to me, there was more of a life lesson about "clicking" in the movie than the book.

One last thing I didn't like about the book was all of the buzzwords. If you like books that have diagrams with lots of arrows pointing in different directions with words and phrases like intentionality, "modulate emotional expression", transactional and phatic, then this book was made for you. However, if these kinds of diagrams make you think of the B.S. bingo game, then I'd give the book a pass.

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